Sunday 1 November 2009

Beware of short balding men in red robes.

“Fear not Ranger; Barbarian; Magician; Thief; Cavalier and Acrobat!”

So says the Dungeon Master in the title sequence for Dungeons & Dragons the animated TV series.

Of course anyone who has played an MMO will instantly recognise that the appearance of the short, wizened and kindly old man festooned in his rich red robes was merely an illusion and that he was evidently a sick and vicious sadist who got off on the pain and suffering of children; it’s probably a fair guess that he and his son, Venger, were actually working together all along, and that the realm in which they dwelled was merely a labyrinthine torture chamber for the young.

I mean, one tank, five DPS and no healer? It’s a party composition straight out of Hideously Doomed To Fail PuGs 101.

No wonder those poor kids never made it home.

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