Thursday 30 July 2009

He took my stapler and he never brought it back.

“Ah Melmothson, I’m glad you’re here. I’ve been having tremendous trouble with these reports, every time I send them out on the signature loop they come back in entirely the wrong order, and it’s making my life a misery.

There is a way to deal with this though. On the corner of my desk you’ll find a stapler. I usually use this to staple my reports together but it’s currently out of staples! Of course without staples a stapler cannot function properly, so I would like you to find me some staples and bring them back to me.

You should be able to find the staples in the stationary cupboard on floor three. Be warned though, the stationary cupboard is guarded by Ethel the secretary, and she doesn’t appreciate people taking items from the cupboard, so you may want to gather a group together to tackle this task!”

Collect staples for Big Boss 0/50
Defeat Ethel the secretary 0/1



“Excellent! Be sure to get a lot of staples, I have a whole stack of reports to send out. Come back to me when you’ve got them.”

[Sandra from Accounts has joined your party]

[Colin the Office Clown has joined your party]

Colin says “Hi.”

Sandra says “Sorry, need to go to the toilet, be right back”.

[Nigel of Strong Body Odour, has joined your party]

Nigel says “Hello, what we doin?”

You say “Staples from floor 3”

Nigel says “Oh, ok. I did that yesterday”

[Nigel of Strong Body Odour, has left your party]

Colin says “Phew, I’ve gone to floor 3 with him before and he doesn’t have a clue what he’s doing.”

Sandra says “Back. Who doesn’t have a clue?”

Colin says “Nigel”

Sandra says “Oh good grief yeah, he stinks”.

You say “Ok, I think this should be enough. Let’s go.”

[You enter the Massive Stairs]

[Sandra enters the Massive Stairs]

Sandra says “Where’s Colin?”

You say “No idea, he was with us a second ago.”

Sandra says “Colin?”

Sandra says “Shall we wait?”

You say “No, he can catch up.”

[You enter the Third Floor Reception]

[Sandra enters the Third Floor Reception]

[Your phone rings]

You say “Hello?”

Colin says “Hey. Where are you guys? I took the elevator and I’m waiting on the third floor.”

You say “We’re on the third floor”

Colin says “Really? I can’t see you. Oh crap, I took the wrong elevator; I’m on the thirty third floor. LOL. Be right there.”

You say “Ok”

[You hang up]

You say “Colin is such an idiot”

Sandra nods

[Colin enters the Third Floor Reception]

Colin says “Sorry about that LOL”

Sandra says “Damn there’s Ethel, she’s always at her desk. Doesn’t she ever go anywhere?”

Colin says “How shall we do this? I could kite Ethel around the corner by feigning photocopier death…”

Sandra says “No need, I have one of her favourite muffins here. We can give her that and she’ll be totally passive.”

You say “Excellent. Let’s go.”

Ethel says “What do you want? Whatever it is, I haven’t got any.”

Sandra says “Hey Ethel! Want a muffin? It’s white chocolate and raspberry.”

[Ethel eats the muffin]

Ethel says “Ooo, delicious, thanks. Anything I can help you with?”

[Defeat Ethel the Secretary 1/1]

You say “We need some staples please”

“Sorry, I ran out yesterday.”



[You gain 400 experience, 1039388 out of 20384740]

“Never mind! The marketing team on this floor is out to lunch, and I know they’re always stapling things together. You could probably find their staplers and sneak the staples out.”

Find staplers and collect the staples from them without getting caught.

Collect staples 0/50



“Great! Take the staples to Big Boss when you’re done.”

You say “Ok, marketing department for the staples.”

Colin says “I know the way, follow me”

[Your party enters the Publishing Department]

Colin says “Oh wait, sorry wrong way, LOL”

[Your party enters the Third Floor Reception]

[Your party enters the Janitor’s Closet]

Colin says “No, this isn’t it either.”

Sandra says “Oh my god, follow me I know the way”

[Your party enters the Third Floor Reception]

[Your party enters the Kitchen Area]

[Your party enters the Typing Pool]

[Your party enters the Photocopier Room]

[Your party enters the Typing Pool]

[Your party enters the Kitchen Area]

[Your party enters the Marketing Department]

Colin says “Finally! LOL”

Sandra says “Sorry, got a bit lost there for a second.”

You say “No worries, we’re here now. Let’s get to work”

Colin says “Damn, I can’t find any staplers!”

Sandra says “There’s usually loads around here. I wonder where they’ve all gone.”

You say “This is ridiculous.”

Sandra says “Found some!”

Colin says “Grab the staples out quick.”

Sandra says “Got them.”

You say “Why hasn’t the task updated?”

Sandra says “Oh crap, they’re the wrong size staples”

Colin says “Found another one. Oh what?! This one doesn’t even have staples in it!”

You say “This could take a while.”

You say “Here’s one. Finally, the right size staples!”

[Collected staples 3/50]

Colin “3? Ahhhh crap”

Sandra says “Lookout, security!”

Security says “Hey, what are you doing in here?”

You say “Run!”

[You enter the Kitchen Area]

[Sandra enters the Kitchen Area]

[Colin enters the Conference Room]

[Security enters the Conference Room]

Sandra says “Colin is such an idiot”

You nod

[Security escorts Colin from Floor Three]

You say “Let’s grab the rest of the staples before the patrol comes back”

[Collected staples 4/50]

[Collected staples 14/50]

[Collected staples 17/50]

[Collected staples 26/50]

[Collected staples 27/50]

[Collected staples 28/50]

[Collected staples 29/50]

You sigh

[Collected staples 34/50]

Sandra says “Yay!”

[Collected staples 39/50]

[Collected staples 49/50]

[Collected staples 50/50]

Sandra says “Oh thank god, let’s go.”

[Your party enters Floor Two]

You say “Thanks for the help”

Sandra says “No problem, catch you later!”

[Sandra from Accounts has left your party]

[Your phone rings]

You say “Hello?”

Colin says “Security let me go, we still getting staples?”

You say “Sorry, we’re done now.”

[Colin hangs up]

[Colin the Office Clown has left your party]

[You enter Big Boss’s Office]

“Ah, you’re back! Do you have my staples?”



[You gain 5 reputation with the Bosses of Floor Two]

“I’ve stapled all my reports together, thanks to you Melmothson. Now I would like the various reports delivered. First of all I need you to take these reports and give them to Little Boss and get them signed.”

Signed reports 0/5



“Excellent! Don’t dawdle now, these need to get to Little Boss post haste!”

[You turn to face Little Boss]

“What’s this? Reports for me from Big Boss! This is most unexpected! But wait, I can’t sign these reports as they don’t have the correct plastic covers to protect them from coffee stains. Go back and tell Big Boss that I can’t sign them until this is rectified!



“What do you mean ‘Shove it up your arse’?!”

[You lose 10000 reputation with the Bosses of Floor Two, you are now unfriendly with the Bosses of Floor Two]

[You gain 1000 reputation with the Disgruntled Workers of Floor Two, you are now honoured with the Disgruntled Workers of Floor Two]

Some days work feels just like an MMO.

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