Thursday 1 September 2011

Coming soon to KiaSA-TV!

A story in the Wall Street Journal about sports bars showing Starcraft II games sparked major interest from television companies and bidding wars over the rights to other hot e-sport properties. Unfortunately I was off on holiday so KiaSA-TV missed out on some of the bigger opportunities like the grand World of Warcraft arena tournament, but nevertheless we’ve snapped up some fantastic events for the launch of our new MMOG-based television station. Here’s what you can be looking forward to this Autumn!

Tuesday Afternoon Arena Fights (1100-1300 rating bracket, EU Emberstorm Battlegroup): Although not quite so high profile as the grand prize tournaments there’s no end of thrills and spills in the hot ticket that everyone’s calling TAAFOTORBEEB. Can Rougekilla and Tyriondrizt keep up their incredible two win streak, or will Rougekilla’s connection time out when his sister tries to stream yesterday’s EastEnders? Will Stayplegun return from being /AFK before his team’s fight actually starts? Just how long can a conversation be continued using only the words “lol” and “noob”? Find out, in TAAFOTORBEEB!

Middle Earth Epic Book Transcontinental Rallying: The toughest endurance event in MMOGing, watch six rival members of the same party race between checkpoints (or “NPCs” as they’re sometimes called) being sent all the way across the world, and then all the way back again!

The Guild Wars High Jump Championship: Can anyone break last year’s record of 0.0cm?

The Champions Online 100m Dash: Three femtoseconds of racing followed by three weeks of legal challenges over whether radioactive spider bites count as performance enhancing drugs. Controversy still surrounds Doctor Timewarp’s claim of having won next year’s event last February.

One Tank And His PUG: Tanks from England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland attempt to corral a skittish group around a dungeon by whistling a lot and shouting “kum bye”.

Fish’O’Mania: An all-action fishing competition where… hang on, no, that’s a real one.

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