Wednesday 16 September 2009

What really happened to Radagast the Brown.

“I will go to Saruman,” I said.

“Then you must go _now_,” said Radagast; “for I have wasted time in looking for you, and the days are running short. I was told to find you before Midsummer, and that is now here. Even if you set out from this spot, you will hardly reach him before the Nine discover the land that they seek. I myself shall turn back at once.” And with that he mounted and would have ridden straight off.

“Stay a moment! ” I said. “We shall need your help, and the help of all things that will give it. Send out messages to all the beasts and birds that are your friends. Tell them to bring news of anything that bears on this matter to Saruman and Gandalf. Let messages be sent to Orthanc.”

“I will do that,” he said, and rode off as if the Nine were after him.

— J. R. R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

Alas, he had travelled no more than a few yards from Gandalf before a wandering wolf took a fancy to his steed and began to pursue Radagast. Despite his best efforts, his skill with the steed was no match for the wolf’s almost unnatural speed, and soon Radagast’s mount was brought tumbling down by a cunning bite from the pursuer’s jaws. Radagast regained his feet and using the ways of the Wise he brought the wolf to heel and slew it.

“Any trouble there?” asked Gandalf.

“No, no. I’m fine. I shall away to Isengard at once!” and with that, Radagast mounted his faithful steed and rode off as though he raced to catch up with the setting of the sun.

Unfortunately a short distance further on there was a large bear blocking his path. He swerved to avoid its attentions, leaping his snorting mount over a hedge and into the forest, but was dismayed to find that he had leapt into the midst of a sounder of boars. The boars gave chase and, through some unknown cunning, managed to unseat him from his horse. Tumbling to a halt he jumped to his feet and, calling upon the power of the ancient words that he knew, slew the troublesome beasts.

“Need any help?” Gandalf asked, popping his head through the hedge.

“NO! Fine! … Thank you”. And with that, Radagast flung himself up onto his horse and galloped away as though the world behind him were aflame.

He passed no more than a couple of trees before the bear that he had tried to avoid earlier wandered into view, lazily swatted at him – knocking him flying through the air and into a nearby tree – before wandering off into the forest. Shaking sense back into his stunned head Radagast grabbed for the reins of his horse and with one swift movement propelled himself into the saddle. No sooner had he sat himself upright than a rather crotchety badger poked its head out a hole at the base of the tree and looked at him slightly funny, instantly dismounting him again. As he picked himself up and brushed himself down he glared back at where Gandalf was just now walking around from behind the trees. Gandalf stopped suddenly in his tracks as though struck bodily by the stare, took pause for thought and said nothing. Radagast called his horse to return, wearily climbed up on to its back and trotted off.

He made it fifty yards further down the road before a moth flapped its wings in Mordor and caused him to be thrown forcefully to the ground, at which point he was set upon by all manner of crap angry animals and was never seen again.


Not enjoying the mount mechanics in Lord of the Rings Online terribly.

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