Friday 23 February 2007

Forum posters know nothing of The Crunch!

I apologise in advance to readers who've never seen The Mighty Boosh, as this post will get slightly weird...

I browse the WoW BlueTracker to keep up to date with official Blizzard postings on the WoW forums. The only slight drawback is that official Blizzard postings come in two flavours: useful information, and thread moderation. Most of the time, it's easy to spot which is which; if you'd like to play along at home, try and guess which of these threads contains useful information, and which is idiocy being moderated...
1) "19/02 Latest hotfixes"
2) "Total ignorance from blizz!!!"

My problem is, I can't help reading all the threads. I'll hover my mouse over the link to "Total ignorance from blizz!!!" entirely certain that the original posting will be deranged burblings about how class (x) is totally overpowered, or class (y) is totally gimped, or some even more ludicrous scenario about how the developers of World of Warcraft drove around to the poster's house, broke in, drank all his milk, stole his carpets and slapped him in the face (elements of game design being a "slap in the face" is a staple of the forums, and nine times out of ten, something will be "ridiculous". Except nobody can actually spell "ridiculous", so things actually end up being "rediculous", "redickulus" and "throatwobbler mangrove" (pronounced "ridiculous")), and yet still I'll click and read. And then wonder why I wasted seventeen seconds of my life doing so.

However! Today I discovered the secret of "ZOMG NERF" threads. What you need to do is watch episode three of the second series of The Mighty Boosh, "Nanageddon", and read every post in the voice of Tony Harrison.

(Tony Harrison is a member of the council of shaman, and is a disembodied bright pink head with tentacles. I did warn you about the 'weird' bit... His catchphrases include "this is an outrage!", and "this is a disgrace!")

If the post actually contains "this is an outrage", ten million bonus points, otherwise you can just add it yourself while reading...

"There was not 1 single top team that I could find OF EITHER FACTION that didn't put a paladin in every single match of their 5v5's. THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!"

Then you just lecture the poster that they know nothing of the crunch, and knock them from the flying carpet.

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