Wednesday 12 May 2010

Between truth and the search for it, I choose the second

Flicking through the lists of search terms that lead poor, unsuspecting surfers to our strange shores I sometimes feel a bit guilty that we’re not a lot of use to people with problems like “D&D online adventure pack zoning into instance frozen progress bar”. Sometimes I’m curious as to why someone’s looking for “most obscure npc in wow”. Then there are the strange and depraved Rule 34 searches, which I won’t repeat verbatim for fear of causing a positive feedback loop of further hits, but suffice to say I believe there are Dragon Age mods that will partially fulfil your wishes towards the Lady of the Forest, but I’m really not sure about the radish. Or whether anyone’s created an in-game model of a paddling pool filled with custard.

In most instances it’s fairly obvious how the internal workings of a search engine decided KiaSA was a potential match, thanks to either MMOG keywords or our proclivity of culling post titles from quotations (it’s not Google’s fault that the relationship between the post title and the actual content tends to be tangential at best; sorry whoever was looking for “The love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned”, you probably didn’t have the Ewok Festival of Love in mind). Sometimes, though, it’s a puzzle not only as to what the searcher thought they might find on the ‘net, but quite how they wound up here at all; step forward Search Term of the Month (And Quite Possibly Year): “does ed vaizey have a hairy chest”. Terribly sorry, we really don’t know, but we’ll be sure to ask if we bump into him.

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