Category Archives: postbag

Post Bag, issue 1.

Melmoth:   Hello.

Zoso:   Certainly. Welcome to our new feature, ‘Post Bag’, where we share some of the letters that have been sent in by our beloved readers.

Melmoth:   Beloved.

Zoso:   You know, we’ve had the most marvellous response to our first reader topic, namely (meh!) Name Quest.

Melmoth:   Perspicuous persiflage.

Zoso:   Bless you.

Melmoth:   That’s right. We know that a lot of you out there have witnessed players on MMO role-playing servers who have ridiculous non-canon names, and yet nobody seems to discuss this vital issue on any of the MMO forums that we’ve visited.

Zoso:   How ever-so-slightly beige. So we asked you to write in and tell us about them.

Melmoth:   And what crackers you’ve told us about!

Zoso:   “There is a character on our server whose name is Milton Sloluck. It is an abomination of a name and I’ve petitioned it on several occasions to no avail!” That was sent in from a Gerald Suckmaster Burstingfoam of the Karag-Foon server.

Melmoth:   I’m rather fond of this one: “Dear Killed in a Smiling Accident, I was recently in a group with a Paladin called Polydore Smith and our guild master is named Munwele. I really think some people should not join an RP server if they aren’t going to take it seriously, Yours etc. Jamrammer Felchfreely.”

Zoso:   Five pounds on its way to you for that one Mr Felchfreely. Or how about this one “Dear Killed in a Smiling Accident, My first MMO cybersex partner was called Geoff Hart. I still split my sides whenever I hear that name, but it wasn’t terribly appropriate in a dedicated role-playing community such as ours. Yours faithfully Pippinhole Spakfarter-Knobwrench.”

Melmoth:   Could it get any more outrageous than ‘Geoff Hart’? “Can you please warn your readers about the fool on the Funtweedle server who goes by the distressing name of Marley Wottel. It destroys my immersion every time I see this person run past, and I am forced to log out and listen to my Evanescence records for several hours to regain my composure. Yours gropingly, Flangibald von Smegsock.” Scandalous!

Zoso:   Creamery. Here’s another one. “I really hate it when people use real-world references in their character names. Just the other day I saw a Barrak Orbaum, which sounds very much like Barack Obama. Yours insincerely, OptimusPrimeSkywalkerRedsox249.”

Melmoth:   Tremendous response all around. Many thanks to all of you who wrote in.

Zoso:   We’ll be sure to delve into the post bag again soon!

Melmoth:   Delve.

This post is brought to you by the letters F & L.