Category Archives: ktv

Also coming soon to KiaSA-TV

Don’t worry if sports aren’t really your thing, KiaSA-TV has plenty of other new series coming to the Autumn schedules!

Cash In The Bank Vault: A cash-strapped character calls in a team of experts to rummage through their bank vault to find items to sell off to raise the money for a new mount. Will Gostekillah’s dented shield, level three shortsword and pile of boar intestines reach their 500 gold target at auction?

Who Do You Think You Were?: The award winning documentary series continues investigating character genealogy. This week, with the help of Blizzard’s server transfer and name change records, an Undead Warrior is surprised to find she started out as a male Night Elf.

Strictly Mailbox Dancing: Eight amazing celebrities including a backing singer who once featured on a song that reached number 37 in the charts in 1986, the male sock model from the Littlewoods catalogue and a Liberal Democrat district councillor from Chipping Norton are matched up with professional mailbox dancers to choreograph and perform a mailbox dance, starting at the inn in Redridge and building up to the grand final outside the Ironforge auction house. There’s a new judging panel this year featuring Illidan Stormrage as The Nasty One(tm) after Grom Hellscrem slightly misunderstood his brief to provide “cutting feedback” in the last series and sliced up Torquay United’s reserve goalkeeper from the ’92-’93 season and an actress who briefly appeared in four episodes of EastEnders.

The Auction House Roadshow: Cold-eyed money-grabbers queue up with items for appraisal by a panel of experts, claiming they “got them for a couple of coppers in a jumble sale in Sillithus” or “inherited them from Uncle Bob after he inadvisedly tried to solo a dragon” when everyone knows they used a plugin to buy them from auction in the hope of a quick profit. Viewers are really waiting the expert’s verdict “Well, it’s a lovely piece; valyrian steel blade and a beautiful enamel inlay on the hilt. Of course before the 3.4.9 patch these were incredibly sought after, but since the nerf to the swing speed the value has really plummeted to a couple of gold, perhaps double that for insurance purposes”, and seeing how convincingly the owner can lie through gritted teeth “oh the value isn’t important at all, we just really loved the design of it”.

Have I Got MMOnews For You: Nah, that would never work.

Coming soon to KiaSA-TV!

A story in the Wall Street Journal about sports bars showing Starcraft II games sparked major interest from television companies and bidding wars over the rights to other hot e-sport properties. Unfortunately I was off on holiday so KiaSA-TV missed out on some of the bigger opportunities like the grand World of Warcraft arena tournament, but nevertheless we’ve snapped up some fantastic events for the launch of our new MMOG-based television station. Here’s what you can be looking forward to this Autumn!

Tuesday Afternoon Arena Fights (1100-1300 rating bracket, EU Emberstorm Battlegroup): Although not quite so high profile as the grand prize tournaments there’s no end of thrills and spills in the hot ticket that everyone’s calling TAAFOTORBEEB. Can Rougekilla and Tyriondrizt keep up their incredible two win streak, or will Rougekilla’s connection time out when his sister tries to stream yesterday’s EastEnders? Will Stayplegun return from being /AFK before his team’s fight actually starts? Just how long can a conversation be continued using only the words “lol” and “noob”? Find out, in TAAFOTORBEEB!

Middle Earth Epic Book Transcontinental Rallying: The toughest endurance event in MMOGing, watch six rival members of the same party race between checkpoints (or “NPCs” as they’re sometimes called) being sent all the way across the world, and then all the way back again!

The Guild Wars High Jump Championship: Can anyone break last year’s record of 0.0cm?

The Champions Online 100m Dash: Three femtoseconds of racing followed by three weeks of legal challenges over whether radioactive spider bites count as performance enhancing drugs. Controversy still surrounds Doctor Timewarp’s claim of having won next year’s event last February.

One Tank And His PUG: Tanks from England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland attempt to corral a skittish group around a dungeon by whistling a lot and shouting “kum bye”.

Fish’O’Mania: An all-action fishing competition where… hang on, no, that’s a real one.