Category Archives: higmfy

Have I Got MMOnews For You.

Host: And the final round is “Continue the Headline”. This week, teams, it’s news that all koreans are to have 1Gbps broadband by 2012: “The central government will put up 1.3 trillion won, with the remainder coming from private telecom operators. The project is also expected to create more than 120,000 jobs…”

Melmoth: … and in other news, Blizzard has reported a considerable jump in gold farming activity, anywhere from 119,999 to 120,000 accounts are suspected of being involved.

Zoso: … in order to make up for the loss of 120,000 man-years of productivity caused by universal 1Gb broadband.

Melmoth: … meanwhile London has announced that its plan to have a single 1Gbps line for the entire country in time for the 2012 Olympics was in fact too ambitious, and they have instead chosen to simulate the effect by having a naked drunken man come round and shout obscenities through people’s letterboxes.

Host: Goodnight!

Studio lights dim, theme tune plays.

Have I Got MMOnews For You

Host: And the final round is “Continue the Headline”. This week, teams, it’s from old Aunty: Ninety per cent of the young people who seek treatment for compulsive computer gaming are not addicted. So says Keith Bakker the founder and head of Europe’s first and only clinic to treat gaming addicts… “

Zoso: “…who was speaking to us from the depths of Naxxramas via his level 80 warlock accompanied by 24 non-addicted players, who had undergone the rigorous testing process whereby their physiological reactions were measured as they were set a number of tasks, such as farming primals, sending crafting materials to the testing team, running five mans until he was fully kitted out, and… HEAL ME, FFS!”

Melmoth: “However, doctors at the clinic are still at a loss to explain the phenomenon that every member of the ninety per cent group of visitors, upon leaving the clinic, came straight back in, re-paid the examination fee and tried again.”

Host: Goodnight!

Studio lights dim, theme tune plays.

Have I Got MMOnews For You

Host: And the final round is “Continue the Headline”. This week, teams, it’s some rugby news: “Northampton Saints have completed the signing of hooker Brett Sharman from South African side Blue Bulls.”

Zoso: “Northampton director of rugby Jim Mallinder said: “we felt we really needed to get that Windfury buff on the melee DPS group in… wait, Sharman? Dammit.””

Melmoth: “… it took WoW fanfic aficionados several moments to realise that Google’s “Did you mean?” suggestion was a little off the mark from their original ‘half-breed Draenei/Tauren shaman prostitutes’ search.”

Host: Goodnight!

Studio lights dim, theme tune plays.

Have I Got MMOnews For You

Host: And the final round is “Continue the Headline”. This week, teams, it’s from Aunty: “Scott Hamshere, from Bromley, should have been the first person in the UK with a copy of the game. He had started queuing at 6am and was the first in line. However, as the barriers were lifted, it was all too much, and he collapsed from exhaustion…”

Zoso: “…When interviewed, Mr Hamshere said “Wizard needs food badly!”.”

Melmoth: “…Mr Hamshere lay in the street for half an hour before the other queuers realised that he wasn’t in fact a Hunter feigning death.”

Zoso: “…The thirty nine people behind him were grateful for him taking Arthas’ alpha strike.”

Melmoth: “…Paramedics attributed the exhaustion to the fact that Mr Hamshere had been bouncing up and down on the spot and spinning around through three hundred and sixty degrees for four hours straight whilst shouting “LOOOOOL”.”

Zoso: “…Initial fears of a real world outbreak of the Corrupted Blood plague proved unfounded, and fortunately vital NPCs such as the HMV vendors and taxi masters were unaffected.”

Host: Goodnight!

Studio lights dim, theme tune plays.

Have I Got MMOnews For You

Host: And the final round is “Continue the Headline”. This week, teams, it’s from Computer and Video Games: “Police in Bradford are on the hunt for a gang of game thieves who made off with 4000 copies of Age of Conan.”

Zoso: “… as the Bradford police guild, ‘Hibernian Fuzz’, has dwindled to a few active players, and they need more people to gather materials for their Tier 3 keep.”

Melmoth: “If caught, the thieves face the maximum possible sentence under the law: up to three years mandatory subscription.”

Host: Goodnight!

Studio lights dim, theme tune plays.