Category Archives: higfmfy

Have I Got MMONews For You

Exciting news this week via Slashdot that game-like “employment simulations” are being used to assess candidates for jobs:

There’s simply a computer game. If you win, you get the job. If you lose, game over.

Speaking to KiaSA, Clifford Prodger of recruitment specialists Flywheel, Shyster and Flywheel said “We did have some early teething troubles, such as a larger than usual number of candidates with a propensity for storing animal entrails and hats in their desks, and their limited range of interaction with objects; when tasked with photocopying a document they tended to kneel in front of the machine, perform a vaguely non-specific mime and colour in a strip of paper, expressing surprise when this didn’t have the desired result. Many others were found to be unable to perform basic functions such as finding the coffee machine or going to the toilet without a line manager marking the objective on a map, leading to some completely undrinkable coffee when a hurried team leader got the labels the wrong way around. Remuneration was also an issue with more than one case of an applicant having to be forcibly removed from the premises because they refused to work further unless their boss rewarded them with the Seven Souls Sword of Sanctified Susurration and seventy seven silver pieces. But we’ve stopped basing our simulations around MMO systems now, and everything seems to be working quite well.”

Have I Got Future MMOnews For You

May 2011: World of Warcraft blamed for wrecking marriages

July 2011: Marriage counselling services introduce a new programme, “The Couple That Plays Together Stays Together”, encouraging husbands and wives to play MMOGs together so the games become a bonding experience instead of a point of contention

October 2011: WoWprogress shows unprecedented levels of success in raid dungeons spearheaded by highly motivated guilds led by married couples

July 2012: Divorce Online reports that World of Warcraft is mentioned as the primary factor in 65% of cases where unreasonable behaviour is the cited reason for divorce. Further comments include “bottom 10% of DPS in every raid, even after I pointed out several ways to improve his rotations” and “Was standing in the fire. Again. I mean once or twice fair enough we’re all human but this was the SEVENTH TIME IN A ROW after I’d said DON’T STAND IN THE FIRE, honestly, come on.” Marriage counselling services forced to change the name of the programme to “The Couple That Plays Together Stays Together Until His Hunter Rolls On My Warrior Two-Hander”.