In a recent interview with IGN Ray Muzyka of Bioware was asked about the lack of gay relationships for a male Shepard in Mass Effect 2, especially in comparison with Dragon Age: Origins. Muzyka responded by talking about Mass Effect as a third person narrative with a more pre-defined character, as opposed to Dragon Age being a first person narrative in which you define your own character at a much more fundamental level.

Here at Behind the News, though, we’ve fabricated exclusive documents that reveal the true reason a male Shepard can only be romantically involved with female team members: when word emerged of a third person cover-based shooter with strong homoerotic elements, Epic threatened to sue for blatantly copying Gears of War 2.

And now here’s Geoff with the weather…