I’m sailing away

Say one thing for Gaijin and Wargaming, say they put some effort into April 1st. Fire up the Captain Pugwash theme, put on an eye patch and adopt a strong West Country accent, because War Thunder is sending you out to do a bit of privateering in the Golden Hind:

Port to sherry, and a medium-dry sherry to port!

Port to sherry, and a medium-dry sherry to port!

The ship looks fantastic (as does everything in War Thunder). Combat is a bit tricky, requiring you to account for the roll of the ship when delivering broadsides (trickier than Pirates of the Burning Sea, as far as I can remember, it’s been a while…) You don’t want to stray outside the playing area either:

The kraken wakes!

The kraken wakes!

The ultimate goal is for War Thunder to feature naval combat alongside its planes and tanks, but there’s been very little information about how it might work. I have to say I preferred last year’s magnificent WWII Walkers, but this event could be a cunning way of doing a bit of testing of some elements of aquatic combat, and of course presents the ideal opportunity to break out some more Excellent Pirate Jokes:

Q: What aeroplane do pirates fly?
A: A HawkARRRRRR! Hurricane

Q: What part of the Hurricane do pirates like the best?
A: The wing spARRRRRRRRR!

Q: Where do pirates conveniently shop?
A: At SPARRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Q: What do pirates call minerals with readily discernible faces?
A: SpaRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Q: What term do pirates use for poles that carry or support sails?
A: SpARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Q: Does ‘spar’ have any other meanings?
A: Yes, but I’m bored now. Aren’t you bored?

Q: I was bored after the first one.
A: Right. Well I’m going to get a cup of coffee.

Q: Can I have one?
A: No.

Q: Oh go on.
A: All right then.

Wargaming completed their triumvirate of Worlds Of… with World of Warships last year, good fun, but I rather burnt out on it a while back. I did have to get it patched up, though, for the excellent Cap and Goldfish:

He can breathe under water because he has amphibious nostrils

He can breathe under water because he has amphibious nostrils

And their bathtub battles:

Splish splash, I was taking a bath

Splish splash, I was taking a bath