Hobby Corner

Greetings, hobby idiots! It is I, Simon Quinlank, Earl of Hobbies and Margrave of Pastimes. I have seized control of this blog in order to bring my latest hobby to you. This hobby is called Recreating The Skeet Shooting Event From The 1984 Konami Arcade Game Hyper Sports Within A Different Game, and it is a good hobby. For this hobby, you will need:

  1. A passing familiarity with The Skeet Shooting Event From The 1984 Konami Arcade Game Hyper Sports. If you do not possess a passing familiarity with The Skeet Shooting Event From The 1984 Konami Arcade Game Hyper Sports, you may obtain one by playing The 1984 Konami Arcade Game Hyper Sports, specifically the Skeet Shooting event. If you do not possess The 1984 Konami Arcade Game Hyper Sports you may emulate it using the Multi Arcade Machine Emulator, but only if you completely legally possess the ROM and do not illegally download it at all. Other methods of gaining a familiar level of familiarity with The Skeet Shooting Event From The 1984 Konami Arcade Game Hyper Sports include “watching” a “videographic recording” on “You Tube”, or remembering the BBC television quiz show “First Class” hosted by Debbie Greenwood. I am going to remember the BBC television quiz show First Class hosted by Debbie Greenwood.
  2. A Different Game. There are many computer games, of which some are not The 1984 Konami Arcade Game Hyper Sports. You shall require one of these. I am going to use the computer game Borderlands 2. This is a good game, even though it was not featured in the BBC television quiz show “First Class” hosted by Debbie Greenwood. Neil Petark claims that Borderlands 2 did feature in the BBC television quiz show “First Class” hosted by Debbie Greenwood, but he is wrong. He is probably thinking of GamesMaster hosted by Dominic Diamond.
  3. A flask of weak lemon drink.

You may drink your weak lemon drink now, or save it until later. I shall drink mine now while thinking of Debbie Greenwood hosting the BBC television show “First Class”. Hello, Debbie Greenwood. Would you like some weak lemon drink? ANSWER ME!

Next, start playing Borderlands 2. In order to Recreate The Skeet Shooting Event From The 1984 Konami Arcade Game Hyper Sports Within Borderlands 2, you will need a shotgun. For the most accurate recreation this should be a shotgun with a two-round magazine, but other shotguns may be used if you are a second-rate hobbyist not dedicated to accurate recreation, such as Neil Petark. Once you have a shotgun, you will need to locate a Bullymong Slinger. These can be found in many of the early zones of Borderlands 2. Approach the Bullymong Slinger, and say these words that I will now write down: “Hello Bullymong Slinger! My name is Simon Quinlank and I am Recreating The Skeet Shooting Event From The 1984 Konami Arcade Game Hyper Sports Within A Different Game. I require that you fling objects such that I can shoot them from the air using this shotgun!” (Note that at the point I said “Simon Quinlank” you should say instead your own name, for you are not Simon Quinlank, unless your name is Simon Quinlank, but it is not, for I am Simon Quinlank.)

The Bullymong should then commence the flinging of objects. It may have commenced the flinging of objects even before you started speaking to it, demonstrating an admirable zeal for the hobby of Recreating The Skeet Shooting Event From The 1984 Konami Arcade Game Hyper Sports Within A Different Game. Granted, it is flinging boulders directly at you, instead of hurling clay pigeons in front of you, but I deem this to be close enough to count as a successful hobby. Now you must shoot them, with your shotgun! BANG! BANG! Do you see? Then, reload the shotgun as more projectiles are hurled. Then, shoot the projectiles, BANG! BANG! Then, reload the shotgun. Continue until you run out of ammunition, become bored, or die. Congratulations! You have Recreated The Skeet Shooting Event From The 1984 Konami Arcade Game Hyper Sports Within A Different Game. You may now select another different game in which to Recreate The Skeet Shooting Event From The 1984 Konami Arcade Game Hyper Sports, or you may return to your weak lemon drink. I am going to return to my weak lemon drink. Hello, Debbie Greenwood, did you enjoy my Recreation of The Skeet Shooting Event From The 1984 Konami Arcade Game Hyper Sports Within A Different Game? OF COURSE YOU DID!

3 thoughts on “Hobby Corner

  1. Dr Toerag

    1988! A happy time when youngsters knew all about Porridge and played really crappy computer games. I loved Porridge, one of my favouritist shows ever.

  2. flosch

    I am so happy I did not read this at work. Though it would’ve been fun to explain to other people why I had to laugh so much. Thankfully, sense for a certain type of humor is one thing I share with most of my colleagues. (Others include Grilling, Drinking, and Recreating The Skeet Shooting Event From The 1984 Konami Arcade Game Hyper Sports. Sometimes even after work. And one of the three is a lie.)

  3. Zoso Post author

    I, Simon Quinlank, am glad that one of the three is a lie. I do not approve of drinking! Unless it is weak lemon drink, of course. Continue Grilling and Recreating The Skeet Shooting Event From The 1984 Konami Arcade Game Hyper Sports!

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