Ceci n’est pas une review.

In Final Fantasy XIV’s character creator, changing the face option on a female Hyur also changes her breast size.

Playing about in mild bemusement with this feature for a minute or so was possibly the most enjoyable part of my first two hours in the game.

Conclusions regarding the game or my state of mind are left as an exercise for the reader.

4 thoughts on “Ceci n’est pas une review.

  1. Melmoth Post author

    Although I couldn’t entirely rule out the falling over as being another way to slow down the player’s progress in the game.



  2. Eliot

    Sorry to hear you’ve not been too keen on it; it’s a personal favorite, but it’s not going to be everyone’s cup of game-that-doesn’t-really-care-about-you. I can state that aside from a brief trough between 15-20, the game goes up as you get higher level.

    I don’t believe the breast size thing carries over to all the other races; my miqo’te’s satisfyingly diminutive rack seems to be fairly standard. And from what I’ve seen, even at their most inflated, the hyur women boast a rack that would be considered “large” rather than “your back must be on the verge of shattering.”

    Also, it’s worth noting that said women will largely be wearing clothing that is not showing off said rack. (You have to search a bit if you really want to mince about half-clothed, and the few revealing pieces are equally revealing on both genders.)

  3. Melmoth Post author

    It’s a shame because I really want to like the game, the world is stunning and I’ve always enjoyed the Final Fantasy setting. It’s just a different style of play, and unfortunately one that I can’t seem to get on with. I do have quite a few issues with the UI and other design elements of the game too, but I can’t really say that I’ve played it enough to know if they become more acceptable over time and with greater familiarity.

    Unfortunately it’s one of those games that provides a brick wall for new players to climb over in order to get to the heart of it, but which doesn’t give any evidence that what’s on the other side is worth the climb.

    The boob thing is incidental, really. I just found it quirky that someone in the design department thought to connect a certain breast size with a certain face shape. And you’re right: none of the characters are bizarrely proportioned in this regard. But in fairness I never claimed they were.

    I thought the starter outfits were magnificent, with lovely details on items such as the belt, with their little backpacks and pouches and water canteens which all jostle about when you run. The world is something I’d love to explore and experience, but the game is something I don’t find myself wanting to play, alas.

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