There and Back Again.

A Hobbit’s Tale, by Bilbo Baggins.

Chapter 1 – Concerning Hunters

Really, if you ever find yourself in need of taking a ring to Mordor, just find a friendly Hunter and get them to teleport you there (and back again). Usually they’ll do it for free, but if not it’s only a matter of a donation of a few silver.

We got the Lonely Mountain sorted out in about half an hour one lazy morning: just teleported Thorin’s company and the entire population of the Shire into Dale and then raided that cave like it was open day at the pie shop. It was easy to find enough taxis for everyone, I mean, have you seen how many Hunters are running around Bree these days?

Poor old dragon didn’t stand a chance, and we teleported back to the Shire in time for elevenses.

And we all lived happily ever after, till the end of our days.

It’s curious, but I really had a feeling that this book was going to be much longer.

The End.

4 thoughts on “There and Back Again.

  1. Jason

    Lord of the Rings, by Sméagol.

    Chapter 1

    My Precious. I cannot find you, my Precious. Did I leave you on the shore in the dark? Did you get swallowed by a fishy? I may never find you.

    The End.

  2. Jonathan B

    Forget about rings and great evil and all that trivial stuff. The really vital use of high-level Hunters is to get your crafting level quest items. Such as my valiant level 14 or 15 Captain, who went to the top of Weathertop clinging to the heels of a level 36 or so Hunter, grabbed a sprig of rare mint, and was teleported back to Bree. I think I slightly debuffed one craban along the way. Valiantly.

    On the other hand, I am insanely proud of my level 16 Loremaster who managed to sneak through a cloud of red- and purple-named wargs, wolves, and bears yesterday to retrieve his Journeyman Scholar item and escape completely untouched. I tried for three days to find a high level babysitter, but by yesterday I had cleared up the quests in my area and was getting pretty desperate to complete it so I decided to just go for it. Even reached Esteldin and Ost-whatzit unscathed.

    And most importantly, I finally got those expert recipes out of my poor clogged inventory.

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