It was while playing around in Lord of the Rings Online the other night with a low level alt that I came across a curious event. I had just killed a marsh-fly when the server decided to have a bit of a wibble (for want of better technical parlance) and when my screen unfroze I found myself being hit upon, which is to say being struck painfully as opposed to being asked down the Prancing Pony for a drink, by Corpse of Marsh-fly, pictured over yonder.
For starters, how cruel must his parents have been for them to call their son Corpse? It probably made for some vaguely comical moments in an otherwise drab and dreary life, sure. “Where’s that Corpse when you need him?”; “I caught that Corpse in some hanky panky with the butcher’s daughter the other day”; “I’m pleased to say Mrs Bride that your young Corpse is as healthy as can be”. Honestly though, it’s a name you might possibly expect to hear from a creature out of the pits of Mordor, but a young ruffian in Archet? Hardly seems fair.
Then comes the second part of his title ‘of Marsh-fly’. Now, my Elf is ‘of Mirkwood’ and my Dwarf is ‘of the Lonely Mountain’, but I’ve travelled around a fair bit and Marsh-fly ain’t no town I’ve ever heard of. They speak Sindarin in Marsh-fly? ‘Welcome to Marsh-fly’ states the sign as you enter the sedate little village, ‘twinned with Bullfrog-Upon-Sea. Population 10,000,000 – Flies, Humans – 6’. So you can see why you wouldn’t want to have a name such as Corpse in a town that ten million flies like to call home, but then perhaps we should pity his brother Dungpile more.
Alas, when I killed Corpse the server seemed to unwibble: I was looking forward to a screenshot capturing the lesser spotted Corpse of Corpse of Marsh-fly, but it wasn’t to be and so ended my encounter with perhaps one of the more interesting characters that I’ve met in LotRO in a while.
A man comes from strange parts and doesn’t know the local customs for greeting, so what do you do? Kill him. Kill him! How dreadfully rude. Oh but I see, since you’ve never heard of Marsh-Fly it must be okay. Is that how it works, if you can’t point to their home on a map you get to kill them?
“if you can’t point to their home on a map you get to kill them”
If there were a coat of arms for MMOs, then that might well be the motto scrawled along the bottom.
On second thoughts, that’s too long for the attention span of most MMO players. It’d probably just be “Kill them”.
On third thoughts, that’s being a bit unfair and there’s probably more to it than that. I imagine it’s actually
“Kill them. Lol.”
“Kill them lulz”
No no. Enough bloody murder of a perfectly good language (before it started being used by those nasty smelly young people).
“If you can’t point to their home on a map you get to kill them”
This is Truth. Now I need to find a coat of arms I can mess around with.
As a denizen of Grenouille-sur-Mer I will thank you not to take that tone of voice with my home. Marsh-Fly doesn’t much like it either and WE have matching War Memorials with flowery bits.
“As a denizen of Grenouille-sur-Mer”
I couldn’t point to it on a map…
Just because we’re smaller than a speck of marsh-fly poo doesn’t mean we’re not people!
Man the battlements!
“They speak Sindarin in Marsh-fly?”
SAY MARSH-FLY AGAIN. Say Marsh-fly one more gol-durned time …
I shall certainly be using “one more gol-durned time” next time I’m in game. Most splendid!