In a police statement made to reporters this morning, the Chief Constable for the Greater Blogging Area announced that some time in the early hours of yesterday evening Warhammer Online’s pre-release hype escaped from the maximum security obscurity where it was being held and is once again at large in the greater MMOtropolitan area.
The hype is considered moderately dangerous and the police have warned that bloggers and gamers should not attempt to approach it or believe a word of it. Unconfirmed reports indicate that three bloggers have already disappeared into what witnesses described as “a sucking gaping hole in the universe” after reporting the contents of the manifesto to their readers.
“Our main concern is not with the hype itself” said Chief Constable John Sternbrow, “but that it might fall into the hands of individuals who could use it to destroy the hopes and dreams of millions of innocent civilians”. When questioned on whether he thought that Paul Barnett might make an attempt to read the ArenaNet manifesto in a heavily populated civilian centre such as London, and what the casualty rate might be from the resultant fallout, the Chief Constable declined to comment.
Reporting live for Oh MMO Emo News, I’m Melmoth Melmothson.
I’m confused. Your link is about Guild Wars 2, and thou speaketh of Warhammer Online. Perhaps, dear Melmothson, did you mean that the Chief Constable of the GBA did not want a remake of the Great HYpe Fiasco of Warhammer Online (GHYFWO) ?
Let us have hope… (but, considering my anti-spam word was godwottery, I’m very very afraid of the future, now)
“I’m confused. Your link is about Guild Wars 2, and thou speaketh of Warhammer Online.”
Hype wears many guises, this time it’s chosen a form eerily similar to that which it wore for WAR.
“Let us have hope…”
Hope means hype, and the two together weave the robe that disappointment wears. To misquote Algernon Blackwood.
I’m curious… the title of this post is an awesome line. Is it from a book or something?
http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Heinrich_Heine
Stick most of my post titles in Google and you’ll probably find out about someone interesting.
Thanks Melmoth. :D *checks out and saves link*
From the very start my level of hope (hype, if you prefer :) ) for GW2 has been tempered by an equal or greater level of fear. Neither hope nor fear had much of a platform to stand on, though, both balanced precariously on pieces of the past they’d recruited to their side…
Hope stood proudly (if with a little wobble), one foot on the love of what ArenaNet has done with GuildWars over the past 5 years, the other on pieces of GW2 story and artwork it had collected like riverglass from the internet. It believed good things were coming.
Fear crouched atop a seussian column of old disappointments. It had dredged up tales of meaningless slaughter done in the name of xp, piled on a few ‘persistent world’ delusions, and topped it with the faint cries of suffering stories. It believed its column would keep growing.
Hope and Fear each grabbed one side of the GW2 Manifesto and tried to use it for support.
Hope pointed out that “like Guild Wars before it, GW2 doesn’t fall into the traps of traditional MMORPGs” and Fear drew back a bit. Fear caught the scent of marketing hyperbole, though and sank its teeth into “you’re never going to run out of new things to discover”. Even Hope had to admit it had a point there.
In the end, Hope and Fear each kept portions of the Manifesto and decided that there was one thing they could agree on. This fight wasn’t over.
Dammit, and here I thought the title said “…will have to invent entirely new breasts.”
Now THAT would have been interesting! ;)
“Hope and Fear each grabbed one side of the GW2 Manifesto and tried to use it for support.”
For me that’s usually when Cynicism comes in and steals all the chocolate digestives while nobody is looking.
Splendid comment, thank you.
@Ysharros: I am intrigued by your idea of an apocalypse, and would like to apply for a lifetime subscription.
For the record: rumours that rudeparsing a word in that way is a symptom of reading KiaSA for too long are utterly unfounded.
The rudeparsing might have something to do with the psychic CAPTCHA system. Whether it’s the chicken or the egg I cannot discern.