Fable 2 probably has a fantastic story, but I wouldn’t know because I still haven’t managed to venture much further than Bowerstone Market, the central town location that you first encounter once you’ve passed the introductory child stage of the game. For why? Because the game feels so much like a world, in a way that I wish MMOs could but which they never do, that I haven’t felt compelled yet to follow the instructions given to me by the mysterious woman with the delicious sultry voice of Zoë Wanamaker, to go and be a hero. I’m happy being an ordinary citizen.
Well, I say ‘ordinary’…
Admittedly, my game so far wouldn’t make for much of a re-telling as a tale of yore, unless you like hearing about the deeds of a heroine who spends her entire time in a small market town making swords so that she can buy hot pants, a corset and a wizard hat to wear. The story continues with our heroine seducing and then marrying a vastly be-bosomed member of the same sex and setting her up in their home, which is a small gypsy caravan just outside town. Whereupon our heroine then attempts to make vast amounts of money by crafting yet more sword blades (not sure that the corset and wizard hat are really smithy-suitable clothing, although at least the hot pants are aptly named), only taking time out from behind the forge to travel back to her caravan – with minor diversions along the road to dig up condoms found by her faithful canine companion Vendingmachine – in order to bed her spouse who seems rather demanding when it comes to the amount of time required to be spent scissor fighting in the bedroom.
So basically what I’m saying is that, so far, Fable 2 has been like playing through the first few chapters of some of the more lurid fantasy fanfic to be found on the Internet.
As such I’ll leave the fact that our heroine is known throughout the land by the title ‘Dog Lover’, yelled by town criers wherever she goes, to your own imaginations.
I’m still not certain as to whether any of this is
a) A reflection on the game.
b) A reflection on me.
c) A Good Thing.
d) All of the above, but mainly b).
Suffice it to say that I keep returning to play the game, so it can’t be all bad, but perhaps at some point I should venture out and try to advance the plot of the story, such that mine is a tale that veers slightly more towards the epic and less towards the pornographic.