Daily Archives: September 22, 2008

Stonehenge Origins

The BBC news has a story this morning about new findings at Stonehenge, but they’re not fooling me. I’ve seen Bonekickers. The giveaway is the article referring to “bluestones” from “Wales”, a blatantly fictional country. Using my archaeological imagination I have deduced that an elite team of maverick archaeologists found secret clues in the “Art of Warhammer” book from the Collector’s Edition of WAR that pinpointed the location of a cache of warpstone. Reaching the location in the middle of the night, they found they’d been set up by Skaven, who’d planted the clues knowing only our archaeological team had any chance of cracking them (after vast quantities of red wine), and had been tracking their movements through an undercover operative disguised as a reporter on the local paper (The Salisbury Ratman Echo). A tussle ensued, the archaeologists accidentally called in an artillery strike (one of them tripped over a radio, which happened to tune it to the frequency of an army exercise nearby, and then another one said “crikey Dolly, careful or you might call ALL BATTERIES to OPEN FIRE on sector ALPHA FOXTROT NINER FOURER TWOER”) wiping out the Skaven (and all evidence of their habitation of the Stonehenge area, the most amazing archaeological discovery ever), then they all went down the pub and the BBC came up with the flimsy cover story about “healing stones” or something.