A Week in the Life of an MMO Addict: Wednesday

Wednesday, 0100 hours
Aww, the awesome war-group is breaking up. That was amazing, though, we really took it to the enemy kingdoms. I’m going to post all about it on my blog.

0124 hours
“… and then I was all, like, “SLICE”, and my buddy was all, like, “FIREBALL”, and the enemy were all, like, “oh no way oh man we have no chance you guys are so awesome” and we were all, like, “yeah” and we totally captured the outpost and it was awesome.” Click, post to blog. I’ll just upload this video capture and these screenshots to go with it, there we go.

0130 hours
Just time for a couple of quick posts on some MMO Forums. “All you suckers ought to start playing this game it is totally amazing!”, link to my blog. “HAW HAW World of Carebears check this awesomeness out”, link to my blog.

0735 hours
Just check the blog comments… tsk, that’s so childish. Leaving insulting messages like that, typical of jealous players in other games. Good job I’m mature in my response; edit all their comments so they say “I SMELL”, there we go.

1230 hours
I’ll just pop out to an internet cafe, see how the blog’s doing. Let’s see… usual rubbish, “you outnumbered the opposition”, “you were all level 50 and they weren’t”, “most of the people you killed were AFK”, blah blah, they just don’t recognise true skill. Oh, here we go! “Wow awesome post u should check my site out”, there’s someone who appreciates the finer points of masterful PvP, I’ll definitely look at his site… what a nice man, he’s selling genuine Rowlexe watches at bargain prices, a connoisseur and an altruist.

1732 hours
I can’t wait to get back to that PvP zone, we’re going to crush that enemy Kingdom again! They have no chance, make their time!

1734 hours
Hmm. This outpost is slightly more on-fire than I remember. Sneak attack by the enemy, obviously, best be on guard. Ah hah, there’s one over there, Aragonne, I’ll teach him a lesson, CHARGE! My weapon hit, but… to no effect? And now I can’t move! HAX! Incoming lightning bolt, ARGH!

1735 hours
What the hell gear is he wearing? /inspect… Some purple rare items, some yellow epic items, the pauldrons are an odd shade of puce which makes them mythical quality… he isn’t even carrying anything in his hands. No, wait, there’s an asterisk there, *mouseover*… “To see the item in this slot, please don the special glasses provided in the box that render the colour wavelength of fandabeedozee quality items visible to the human eye.”

1736 hours
/whisper Aragonne “Where did u get that lewt???/?”
Aragonne whispers: “lol while u were killing noobs we were running the temple of krzzzkrzzzyn raid to get phat lewt lol noob”

1822 hours
Argh, corpse camped all the way out of the zone. Man, this sucks. Back to the capital, better get a party together for that temple raid.

1843 hours
All right, here we go, some of last night’s posse are up for raiding the Temple of Krzzzkrzzzyn. We just need to capture the Temple Gates from the enemy Kingdom first. Fire up Teamspeak, we might need the co-ordination, NOW TO BATTLE, MY COMRADES, THE FIGHT SHALL BE GLORIOUS!

2015 hours
“Oh yeah, we’re weakening them, they may be decked out in uber gear from raiding but we have the numbers”
“That’s it, isolate the knight, everyone on the wizard”
“Soon the gates will be ours!”
“Err… guys… look to the east”
“Oh my… how many are there?”
“Looks like just about everyone we killed last night. And their friends. And they don’t look too happy…”

2112 hours
“… watch out, Strrydur, wizard at three o’clock starting to cast…”
“… no good, I’m ensnared, can’t move in to…”
“… got him, starting to cast, ARGH! Stealther interrupted the spell…”
“… they’re controlling Streyedoor, keep away from him…”
“… no good, I’m done for, save yourselves…”

2220 hours
“COME ON U NOOBS we can still do this”
“who are u calling noob, noob, u r a noob”
“no wai, noob, u r teh noob”
“yeh well at least i have fifty kills noob u have four”
“cuz u r a killstealer ur tictacs suck LERN 2 PLEY”
“my tictacs are gr8 but ur build totally sucks for pvp carebear”
“STFU u 2 noobs u both suck”
“no u stfu”
“no u stfu”
“no u stfu”

2225 hours
Well, the battlegroup broke up. That sucked. I’m going to go back to the general PvP zone to gank me some noobs.

2247 hours
Huh. They keep banding together now, or using other cheats and exploits like calling in higher level friends. That sucks.

2330 hours
“… in conclusion, it is reeeddikkyoouwwlessss. This game is rubbish. This is the worst game ever released. The devs are all idiots. Drunk monkeys could have made a better game by banging keyboards with bananas. Every decision they made is totally wrong. The entire design of the game sucks all the possible fun out of anything. It was obviously rushed and not tested properly. It is totally unfair because other people play more and have better stuff and there are more of them and they can kill me even though I am brilliant at PvP and it is totally unfair. I am unsubscribing from this game right now, and never buying anything from the company again ever.” Post to forum, click. Post to blog, click.