Monday, 1322 hours
Huh? Where am I? What’s… man, I must’ve just dozed off there. What time is it? Half one, phew, only lost a couple of hours. /played time is… 70 hours 52 minutes? My god! It’s Monday! I’ve lost an entire day. Thank god it’s a bank holiday, I used up all my leave this year on the stress test. And that day where I stayed home refreshing the browser ever 2.3 seconds applying for closed beta. And they demand a signed note from the doctor after all that sick leave I took for the last game launch, it’s like they didn’t believe I happened to catch the Black Death and malaria the same week it launched.

1324 hours
Good news is, I fell asleep onto the keyboard, so with the continuous input at least my character wasn’t automatically logged out. Login time saved right there.

1326 hours
Even better news, I feel asleep onto the “turn right” and “attack” keys in the middle of an area with respawning mobs, and I’ve gained two levels in that time. By my calculations, the XP gain per hour improved by 4.3% in my sleep. Some might say that shows gaining levels requires no skill whatsoever and is merely a function of time spent in game, but it’s obvious that I’m so uber I don’t even need to be awake to show off my mad skillz.

1328 hours
Getting a bit rancid, maybe I should go for a shower? No way, can’t afford that much time. I’ll give myself a quick spray of deodorant.

1329 hours
Turns out I left the deodorant upstairs. Can’t spare the time to go and get it. Sprayed under my arms with the compressed air I use to blow dust out of the PC case, that’ll do.

1334 hours
Right, level 48, just two more levels, here we go now.

Montage ensues, to the soundtrack of..

Grinding, grinding, grinding,
Grinding, grinding, grinding,
Grinding, grinding, grinding,
Ecks Peeeee!

Grinding, grinding, grinding
Though the sun is blinding
Grab the loot I’m finding, Ecks Peeee,
Pick up fang and paw and feather,
Then skin ’em for the leather,
And onto the next bunch on the map,
All the things I’m craving,
Arenas, housing, raiding,
Are waiting right at that level cap,

Slash ’em up, loot the corpse,
Loot the corpse, slash ’em up,
Slash ’em up, loot the corpse,
Ecks Peeeeeee,
Kill the mobs, sell the trash,
Sell the trash, kill the mobs,
Kill the mobs, sell the trash,
Ecks Peeeeeee,

Keep slaying, slaying, slaying,
No matter what they’re saying,
The vendor keeps on paying, Ecks Peeeee,
Don’t try to understand ’em
Just stab, loot and frag ’em
Attack anything that isn’t tame,
My add-on’s calculating,
There won’t be much more waiting,
‘Til I’ll be a part of that end game,

Slash ’em up, loot the corpse,
Loot the corpse, slash ’em up,
Slash ’em up, loot the corpse,
Ecks Peeeeeee,
Kill the mobs, sell the trash,
Sell the trash, kill the mobs,
Kill the mobs, sell the trash,
Ecks Peeeeeee!

2359 hours
Level 49 and nine bubs, nearly there!