Saturday, 0000 hours
Just a couple more quests and I’ll be able to participate in open-world PvP… ahh, the cut and thrust of dynamic combat against a thinking, cunning opponent, that’ll be the stuff, none of this tedious, repetitive grind, killing ten rats, twenty bats, thirty gnats (tricky one that, until I found the Flyswatter of Insecticde), forty hats. I don’t know why they restrict it anyway, they should let anyone of any level join in! The whole world should be at war! Only cowards don’t want to join the glorious battle!
That’s the 50 Slightly Bigger Rats Than The Previous Set Of Rats Tails handed in to the NPC, DING LEVEL TWENTY ONE! To the zone with open PvP!
Zone loading… zone loading… here we go, oh yes, this is the life, watch out foul enemy, I’m coming for… what? I’m dead? DAMMIT stupid bug, I’ll just rez and… I’m dead again, huh? Combat log… Aragown hit you with a fireball for 5,407 points of damage? NAME VIOLATION REPORTED TO GM! /who Aragown… level 37? Already? What sort of sad case is level 37 already? Hm. Looks like he’s walking off, OK, I’ll rez and… Ouragon critically backstabbed you from stealth for 7,123 points of damage?
GM Neville: How can I help you?
STry1d3rrr: I keep getting killed!
GM Neville: By other players, in an open PvP zone?
GM Neville: I’m afraid that is working as intended.
STry1d3rrr: But… they’re higher level than me!
GM Neville: Yes, due to customer demand, PvP is totally unrestricted in this zone. Is there anything else I can help with?
STry1d3rrr: Well… the people who keep killing me also taunt me by then making a nice cup of PG Tips!
GM Neville: Yes, I suspect they’re quite surprised by the result of the /teabag emote as well.
“… in conclusion, the concept of open world PvP is reddikyouless, and the devs are idiots for including it.” Post to forum, click.
Thank god, I managed to get out of there while the gankers were occupied with another dumb schmuck who stuck his head in at level 21. Right. I’m going to get to the level cap in PvE, then I’ll show them.
60 Even Bigger Than The Last Lot Of Giant Bat Fangs handed in to the NPC
70 Quite Similar To The Last Lot Of Rats, Only Wearing Stilts So They’re A Bit Bigger Tails handed in to the NPC
80 Tails From Giant Rats Dropped Into Combat By Giant Bats and 80 Fangs From Giant Bats That Drop Giant Rats Into Combat handed in to the NPC
Dead rats, dead bats, what d’you think about that, huh? Fat cat in a top hat, thinks he an aristocrat, yeah, c’mon now.
Maybe I should lay off the ultra-caffeinated energy drinks.
The next quest line’s in the farmyard muck
Fetch the farmer a rabbit, a chicken and a duck
Feed the sows and the cows and the farmyard cats
Kill some hogs and some dogs and the farmyard rats
Jug the hares, catch the mares, grow a pound of pears
Sheer billy goats in hairy coats
You get a horse (of course) and a ton of turnips
DING LEVEL 35!
If there are 1,000 other players on this server, running the same quest lines, I calculate we will have wiped out the entire animal population of the world seven times over by the time we’re all level 25. Also, the bandit groups in Forest of F’tang must have had, at the very least, 97,000 members (assuming a consistent drop rate of one bandit badge per 2.78 bandits). No wonder the three members of the village militia need our help holding them off.
Level 42, oh yeah, feel that percussive slap bass.
Time since parking the car on the drive with the game: 28 hours, 16 minutes. /played timed: 28 hours, 9 minutes. Must work on that seven minute gap next time. Note to self for next game release: leave a front window open and remove windscreen from car. If I don’t wear a seatbelt, I can ram the car into the wall, and the momentum should fling me straight out, through the window and into position. Clear three minute saving.
Levelling really slowing down now. Quests getting harder to find, almost like the developers had concentrated more on the earlier zones in the knowledge that normal people would take three months to hit level 40 so there’d be time to patch more content in after release. Reactions also dulled by fatigue.
Ding… level… 45. Quests… totally dried up apart… from Mayor Placeholder… who requested… Set Quantity Here of Select Body Part Or Generic Possession from Choose Mob Type. Must… keep… grinding…