Monthly Archives: April 2008

Comicunication

I grew up with British comics, picking up battered old annuals and holiday specials from jumble sales, back when eBay was but a twinkle in the eye of Geoff E. Bay. I wasn’t exactly choosy so long it was 5p or less and had a suitably exciting picture on the front. The Beano, Dandy or any of the other funnys; titles like Lion or Valiant from the 60s and 70s; Commando and other war stories by the bucketload; anything that was there. No idea where they all are now, they’d probably be worth MEEEELEONS. Or possibly 5p.

From the time a boy’s thoughts turn to the healthy pursuits of tanks, guns, planes and warfare in general, the one comic I bought every week, reserved at the newsagents, was Battle (soon to become Battle Action Force). I loved it, particularly Johnny Red and Charley’s War, and would rush around the garden with friends assuming the roles of various Action Force characters to combat the evil Red Shadows. Over the years, it slowly went downhill (it was never the same after Palitoy brought in a bunch of GI Joe action figures and that “Duke” bloke and Cobra turned up in the comic), then Action Force left entirely and were replaced with the slightly weird Storm Force, then the whole title merged with Eagle. Least, I say it slowly went downhill, reading various reminiscences around the web a common theme is that a comic was brilliant at whatever point the person started reading it as a child, but turned rubbish by the time they stopped. Perhaps a more likely hypothesis is that most comics stayed the same, it was the readers that changed. Either way, eventually I started buying PC Plus instead of Battle and generally left comics behind in favour of computers.

American superhero comics didn’t turn up in small town jumble sales, so I’d come to those characters in other media like film (Superman, Batman), cartoons (Spider-Man, Iceman and Firestar) and games (the classic four player Teenage Mutant Don’t-Mention-The-Ninja Turtles arcade game and numerous others). In the early 90s, I picked up a few X-Men issues (possibly inspired by a keen adolescent interest in Psylocke’s costume), but landed in the middle of a particularly baffling storyline and soon gave up. That was the problem with comics, where to start? Most of the big titles had anything from twenty to sixty years of accumulated backstory, including numerous retcons and reboots. It was City of Heroes that really kick-started my interest again; oddly enough it attracted a fair few comic fans, and people would chat about what they were reading on supergroup forums, including some newbie-friendly suggestions, so from that, if you haven’t read a comic for twenty-odd years and fancy giving it a shot, here’s a couple of starting points you could try.

If you want “proper” shield-wielding, flying, giant-sized superheroes but without all that continuity baggage, Marvel launched their Ultimate line, re-introducing Spider-Man, the Fantastic Four & co. Of that range, The Ultimates (available as two volumes in trade paperbacks) are a 21st century version of the Avengers in 50″ high definition widescreen, still brash and utterly ludicrous, but also somewhat grounded in our reality, with a very dark streak.

If spandex-clad superbeings leave you cold, Y: The Last Man (first issue available there as a PDF) is just brilliant; a simple premise (the protagonist is the last man in the world; I’d have put spoiler space in, but you could probably guess from the title), phenomenally well executed. Totally gripping, and nobody shoots lasers from their eyes.

Moral courage so rare.

I’ve been reading a bit about Fable 2 and how Monsieur Molyneux wants to create a game that challenges the moral decisions of the player. You have to admire the stance, because I don’t know about you, but I only have to look out the window to see people being immoral, self-centred arses on a regular basis in real life, so creating a moral challenge that stands in the way of accessing areas of game play is probably about as effective as holding a small square of toilet paper over your head in the hope that it might provide a challenge to the piano that is hurtling down towards you from ten stories up. And we’re talking that awful, really thin paper that you get in public loos, rather than that double-quilted luxury paper that moisturises and provides a light, if somewhat unnerving, massage when you use it.

In MMOs it is almost a certainty that the majority of players will just pick whichever path provides the greater reward, whether that involves saving the kingdom from invaders, or selling their grandmother to the local sausage factory, as long as their decision gifts them ‘the shiny’ at the end of it all then as far as they’re concerned they’ve made the right decision. One envisions spreadsheets that have been carefully designed to work out the optimum path through the game for maximum reward:

Adventurer: “Sorry Kenneth I’m going to have to kill you now.”

Kenneth: “What? Why? You’ve been helping me for ages now, you’ve saved my entire family from starvation, you’ve rescued my daughter from bandits; I thought we were friends!”

Adventurer: “Well, according to my spreadsheet, doing quests for you was the best way to improve my standing with your village elder, and she had a really nice sword to give as a reward once I’d done enough good for you and your family. But I have the sword now, and I really would like the shield to go with it, and, well you see, the shield is given away by the local warlord, but only if I’ve been bad enough to ingratiate myself with him.”

Kenneth: “I don’t. I don’t understand. You were dating my daughter for crying out loud!”

Adventurer: “I know. I’m sorry Kenneth. But I’m going to have to kill you and your entire family, otherwise I just won’t be able to offset all the good I’ve done for you and your village, and the warlord will never speak to me. It’s all here in the spreadsheet, look.”

Kenneth: “Oh. Oh I see. Well, yup, that all seems in order, looks like you do indeed need to kill me. Can’t argue with a spreadsheet, as my mother always says!”

Adventurer: “I’m afraid I have some bad news, Ken, your mother is dead.”

Kenneth: “Dead? How?!”

Adventurer: “I killed her on the way over here actually, it was either that or help get her cat out of the tree.”

Kenneth: “What about the cat, did you at least get it down from the tree.”

Adventurer: “Of course, Kenneth! Of course! After all, I’m not a monster.”

Kenneth: “Well that’s some consolation, at least.”

Adventurer: “Yep, I got it down from the tree; then I killed it, skinned it, and sent its pelt to the local warlord, because…”

Kenneth: “Heh heh heh! The local warlord hates cats, I understand! Right, so how would you like me? Just standing here oblivious or in a slightly cowering posture pleading for mercy?”

Adventurer: “Oh, uh, just standing there will be fine, thanks.”

Kenneth: “Righty ho. Oh, and looking at this column on your spreadsheet, it appears you’ll get a decent boost to your evil reputation if you also burn my house down, so don’t forget to do that.”

Adventurer: “Really? Oh yes, you’re quite right. Dammit! I haven’t got anything to light it with.”

Kenneth: “Here, have my lighter.”

Adventurer: “Thanks! I guess it’s not like you’re going to need it any more, is it? Ha ha ha!”

Kenneth: “Ha ha ha! No problem, any ti… urk”

Adventurer: “Now I just need to go and find your wife and, well, you know…”

Kenneth: “Gurggle… yup! Hrng… mrrrgghh… don’t forget… to put my head on a spike… for the weekly warlord windfall… gaaaahhhh”

Adventurer: “Oh! Good point! Thanks Kenneth, you’re a real friend. Were a real friend, even.”

I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with trying to present a moral challenge to the player, you understand, but the basic problem is that to provide a moral challenge the player has to connect with the society in which they operate, such that its laws and its people have a meaning and depth to them that the player can relate to. This, among other things, requires a story and history to the world, one that involves the player intrinsically, and this is something that MMOs just do not, perhaps can not ever, provide.

I wonder, for example, how disappointed the developers of EQ2 were when they created the good and evil races, to provide these moral counterpoints in the game, only to find that the vast majority of players just see these factions as obstructions to grouping with their friends and getting to certain of those cities which they consider to have better quest zones. Given the option by Blizzard to switch your Alliance character, as is and in tact, over to the Horde, or vice versa, would players bat an eyelid at switching allegiance if they thought that the other side had the greener grass? I think not; there may be more personal reasons why people wouldn’t, there is no love lost between the players of Horde and Alliance themselves, but it would not be the abandonment of the moral stance that their faction honours that would stop them. The fact that most players still see Horde as evil and Alliance as good shows that there’s little understanding of what the real morals and beliefs of each faction really are.

Kenneths of the MMO world beware!

The Morning After

And so the reveller that is the internet groggily cracks open one eye, peers around the wreckage of the party that was April Fool’s Day, declares “man, I was so wasted”, tries to piece together what happened over the last 24 hours between the pulses of an industrial hangover, and gets that feeling of creeping horror as it remembers what seemed like a really hilarious idea after a couple of pints of Crème de Menthe and a Co-op cider chaser…

Amidst the vast sea of Fooling, the BBC’s flying penguins (also in The Telegraph) were very well done, bonus marks for effort there. I missed their ice-skating greyhounds, though.

Blizzard kept up their usual standard, my favourite being Molten Core for the Atari 2600. There was also the Bard (though I still reckon the lute bayonet is a winner there). On a similar note, GAME’s Double Bass Controller would seriously rock (somewhat reminiscent of The Onion’s Sousaphone Hero). Actually, that’s a point, what do The Onion do on April 1st?

NCsoft’s Visual Sounds for City of Heroes announcement is disqualified, as it’s not Foolish at all, it’s a bleedin’ brilliant idea. FREEM! Also getting in on the Atari 2600 act, there’s a rather splendid fan-made effort.

ThinkGeek have a whole heap of excellent products, and I should probably wrap up here, as I’ve probably inflicted a billion years of bad luck on myself for linking all this stuff after April 1st.

For anyone starting work on next year’s drollery, just try and remember that madcap japes and pranks work best if they’re in some way humorous. For example:

“The government are going to raise income tax by three percent”.

That’s not an April Fool, that’s Making Up Stuff That Isn’t Funny.

“The government are going to start taxing something highly improbable. Spokesperson Geoff MySurnameIsAnAnagramOfAprilFool said ‘this is bound to have hilarious consequences’.”

That’s a (rubbish) April Fool. If you’re having trouble, maybe a hearty breakfast will help you come up with something.